OK, after long contemplation, I decided to write this blog post in English and not in Slovak, as I believe that the whole world should have the opportunity to benefit from reading this (in ways not yet understood). However, be warned that at appropriate places, I may use the Slovak equivalent for the sake of more expressive tone. Not to worry though, I will always provide an English equivalent or a reasonably close one, for example:
"Na večeru sme zajedli šalát a lečo" - "For dinner, we behind-ate a you-don't-say salad".
See? So let's get started.
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| From Emil's and Kika's successful hitch |
On the morning of 27th of August, I headed to Gyal, a town at the edge of Budapest where I was to meet Ondro in his car "Modrý blesk" ("Blue Lightbolt"). I had a few spare minutes so I did a quick shopping in local Spar and traded all of my 400 Forints in cash for a piece of Hungarian sausage at the adjacent butchers. Incredibly, at the very moment that I unwrapped the sausage on a table outside of the store, Ondro appeared and we behind-ate ("zajedli sme") - Ondro pulled out a huge box of home-grown veggies (which I believe lasts to this day) and soon the sausage was history and the two of us on the road.
Other crews were heading to the same destination - Pedro and Janka from Oradea, Andrej with Katka, Marcel and Mato along similar route as us and Kika with Emil were (successfully) trying their luck with a flight to Cluj + some hitchhiking.
We stopped for lunch (I know, much of this post will be about food, but this blog is about pizzas so I presume the target audience doesn't mind) in Arad, with navigation pointing to the city-centre McDonald's. Of course, that's not where we wanted to eat, I just wanted to get some of those free sugar and salt packets for our camping later. We failed to get those eventually as McDonald's failed to exist at the point given by Google Maps, but instead we run into the group from Andrej's car and had a good meal together, not a bad alternative to the free sugar and salt packages!
Refreshed with rounds of Csorba and other šmakovičkies (translations for this available from the
blogpost about previous Romanian trip), we set off with "see you later" and I took hold of the steering wheel. The Romanian highway system is not very dense, but the few existing bits are actually quite good, except for the occasional chuckhole on the otherwise smooth asphalt surface. Combined with the Blue Bolt's mind blowing speed, we were quite on track to come to the Casa Debora in Hateg at the promised time. However, me and Ondro made a small detour towards the Corvin Castle in Hunedoara, for the sole and only purpose of getting our spirits properly educationally uplifted by this significant cultural heritage (at least while we waited for our 50cm diameter pizza at the
nearby takeaway).
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| Ondro, getting his spirit educationally uplifted by Corvin castle |
When we came to Casa Debora, the rest of the group was already there. Me and Ondro, fully stuffed with the pizza did our team-playing best by putting on compassionate and hungry looks as we all headed for (more) food at Vila Veche down the road. Here,
The Plan was decided on by the council of elderly and youngerly (i.e. mainly Marcel and Mato) and a conclusion was finally reached and ratified by the members of The Fellowship: we shall devote Tuesday to sleep, food and relax, unless clear sky is seen over the Retezat mountains in the morning. And since one cannot actually see the mountains from the street of the Casa we stayed in, let alone the sky over the peaks, we decided for the lazy day due to lack of data.
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| Casa Debora in Hateg - awesome and recommended place (book!) |
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| The council of the Fellowship |
We gradually visited sites of significant cultural heritage, such as Corvin Castle (again), Prislop Monastery or local Lidl, and relished of simple things, such as Ondro eventually not running out of gas or an authentic Romanian waiter serving our table despite having a "big command" (whatever that means). On a more sad side of things, we said goodbye to Janka who went home, not feeling up for the hiking waiting for us the next morning, thus establishing the size of our Fellowship to 9 members.
An evening to remember followed with delicious Lečo, somewhat abundant Tatra Tea and lessons on what Reggaeton is and what isn't, although the line seemed to get less clear with added hours and depleting Tatra Tea. Worried about the state we'd be in the next day, we quickly ordered a mountain insurance. Ondro mentioned something about a helicopter giving us a lift if we're too wasted (ok maybe not exactly that, but at least he mentioned a helicopter) and thus we safely continued drinking.
The next morning we set off to the mountains in Pedro's car and in one pre-ordered taxi, while the rest of the cars waited already at the hike end point, on the other side of the mountains. The trap was set, there was no way back, only option was to go forward. And so we went, and we went, and we went...
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| The eventually hiked route - see this link for interactive version |
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| The Fellowship, at the start of our journey. |
But it was not only us who went. An entire contingent of dogs joined our group to begin with and many more barked from the sides, much like fans of Justin Bieber from behind barriers after a concert (I mean, I don't know for sure if the fans bark, but I wouldn't be surprised). For once, we felt special and waved the dogs like soldiers waving their loved ones goodbye when heading to war...
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| Our companions for the first 4 or so hours |
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| Emil and Maťo leading the way, a typical scenario |
And war it was, indeed. With the start at 1200 metres above sea level and Mount Retezat on the way, the math was clear, our breathing heavy and daydreams full of that damn helicopter from the mountain insurance, which was nowhere to be seen. But we persevered, and finally hailed the foggy views from Mt Retezat at around 3 in the afternoon. A slow descent ensued to the camp by Lacul Bucura at the altitude of around 2000m and it was almost dark when we arrived and pitched our 4 tents for the first night.
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| The top! Not the highest peak of the range, but kind of the most dominant one. |
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| Marcel, getting deeper into his cardiovascular and immune system. |
An ice-cold lake was right by the camp, and it was an excellent opportunity to, as
Wim Hof would say, "get deeper into your cardiovascular and immune system". Some of us dipped in and while I am not perfectly sure we got deeper into any of the mentioned systems, we were certainly fucking cold. A warm dinner made it up though, with international cuisine at its best: Marcel's "Magic Asia" contrasted Ondro's homemade "makové slíže" (poppy seed pasta) or Pedro's tomato rice from his uncle Ben, who for some reason he had never mentioned before. Other šmakies were prepped, shared and washed down with cans of Timisoreana or Andrej's Marhuľovica. It almost seemed like a Lečo Party Reloaded, had it not been for a voice from the neighbouring tent, authentically asking us to shut up the moment the clock hit 10pm.
Thus we quietly sat and watched the clear skies, observing shooting stars and wishing something nice, or simply "the same as Kika" who saw the the first one.
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| Morning at Lacul Bucura |
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| Morning at Lacul Bucura, again |
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| And - brace yourselves - morning at Lacul Bucura! |
Morning came and we made a strict plan of leaving precisely at 9am. Therefore, at 5 minutes past 10am, we slowly finished an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet that we spontaneously established through sharing of all of our šmakovičkies in a communist fashion.
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| All-you-can-eat (or even more-than-you-can-eat) breakfast |
Eating way more than we should have, we trundled up the first of the 4 peaks which awaited us on the second day. Led by Emil and his "vrtuľa v zadku" ("a propeller in.." I mean, let's skip this one), we gradually climbed all four, each having roughly 1 meter less in elevation than the previous one, thus confidently meeting Maťo's reassurance "no worries, each subsequent peak will be smaller!".
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| On the highest point of our journey. Picture taken by the same lady who gave us "black points" for dipping into the Lacul Bucura |
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| Rest of our journey on the second day |
We kept our spirits high though through consuming nonnegligible quantities of sugary treats. Occasionally, this resulted in a visit to the nature away from the hiking trail. It was at one of these occasions that Andrej revealed what a
prrreccciousssss thing he was carrying - brace yourselves ladies and gentlemen - a coconut scented toilet roll. Indeed. The One Roll. Many thought it was lost forever. Many didn't believe. Many planned intricate plots to get hold of it, whatever it takes... It was now clear what our Fellowship had to do. The roll had to be destroyed. The shadows were getting longer, and storm was approaching in the distance...
Oh sorry, that was Mordor. We actually had quite a nice weather.
Zombies alive, we arrived to the camp at Salvamont Buta with our headlamps on already. Another round of international dining followed with meals such as Macaroni Bolognese or Emil's home made dish which unfortunately ended up enjoyed mainly by a friendly dog eyeballing our feast and obediently waiting for his chance nearby.
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| Emil, unknowingly cooking the feast for the friendly, obediently waiting happy dog |
Night and sleep took hold of us soon. Here I pause and do a small advert for an excellent two man tent I recently bought and literally tested in the Retezat mountains for the first time - the
MSR Elixir 2. I stayed in with Ondro, another giant regularly complaining of the amount of legroom in planes or hitting his head in doorways. Yet we fit in nicely and although we sniffed each others' feet in a 69 mode, it was a precautionary measure we probably did not have to take. The two roomy porches on both sides then nicely contained all of our gear. Add the relatively light weight, beautiful design or (the best of all) fluorescent zips and you're tempted to camp in your living room! Don't hesitate, only today, pay for three, you get two! (End of commercial)
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| Morning mess |
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| Zoom at the morning mess |
Shaking the morning dew off the tents, it started to be clear our Fellowship was soon to be split. The coconut toilet roll was by now affecting the whole group. Its power was growing in the shadows of the valley. The roll was getting lighter with every mile hiked. Many forcibly tried to get hold of the last pieces.
We thus divided into two groups. Maťo, Emil, Marcel and Pedro chose to go conquer yet another peak, while the rest of us decided for a peaceful descent towards the cars. But the power of The Roll could not be resisted and eventually it led to the famous battle at Cabana Buta, where Kikighuls, Katkorcs and Andrui Hais attacked Ondrogorn. Feromir emerged from the distance to come to aid but it was too late for Ondrogorn. At least Katarwen called on to nature's magic forces and swept the enemy into the abyss for good..
Don't believe? Just
watch and see for yourself!
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| Hip-hopers also visited Cabana Buta, and enjoyed some coffee and home-made omelette |
On the journey down, a growing stream kept us company and provoked further Wim Hof thoughts to take a bath and try out the exercise from week 9, where breathing "via the ears" should make you feel hot even in the icy water. There were thus only two problems: to find a nice waterfall pool and to discover how the hell you breath through the ears.
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| Andrej going in! |
Meeting a German couple going opposite way gave the opportunity to solve the first problem. Katka engaged in a 10 minute conversation full of frightening and long German words such as Donaudampfschifffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft, at least that was my outsider impression. Luckily though, somehow, she managed to find out about the waterfall and led the way to a gentle waterfall with a small pool just ten minutes away.
Refreshed and back on the track, our thoughts started to turn towards food again. However, a sound of the approaching storm made us focus back on our mission and finally move on. In rain and thunders we walked and arrived to the cars just before the rest of the group.
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| This picture is intended for the other group, to prove that we also had a highly strenuous journey |
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| Last few kilometers were in rain |
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| Finish line! |
We completed our mission. The Roll was destroyed. Sun came out again, laughs and smiles were seen on the faces and a small feast was put together with the remaining of our supplies.
We loaded the two cars and headed back to Hateg, where we gathered at yet another site of significant cultural heritage, the parking lot by Penny market. Pedro and Andrej went to get Pedro's car from the hike starting point, while the rest of us engaged in silently munching on 14 yummy ice cream sticks at the entrance of the store.
A goodbye to Ondro and Marcel followed as they left for our homeland or for different adventures. The remaining five of us, stranded in Hateg, thus had no other choice, than to have some pizza and beer at the rather funnily named "T-restaurant" and wait for our drivers.
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| My victims for a pizza hunt photo |
Now, as you may have noticed, this post is definitely not one of the proper pizza hunt ones. For one, the main thing was the trip itself and the pizzas were just a nice unplanned bonus. Yet I have to say that both of the pizzas - those from Hot Pizza takeaway (by the castle) and the ones you get in the T-restaurant are quite worth it. In the latter, we ordered two 50cm pies which seemed enough to make 7 (not too starved) people happy. If I were to sum it up, in both cases, it was a honest, tasty and quite crispy semi-american takeaway style pizza. Semi-american only because the large, rather firm slices reminded me of Dough Roller pizzas from Ocean City and other places I tried in the US. And takeaway style because it just felt like the right type of pizza to take home and enjoy with friends over a movie. All in all nothing special, but certainly living up to the expectations.
Our next steps took us to Timisoara, where 6 of us planned to spend two more nights and where Katka was to leave us for a bus to Vienna. Before that, however, four of us in the car played the storytelling game of "one word each". Every time I play this it ends up in some sort of incomprehensible nonsense that usually does not even stick to basic grammar rules. This time though, we put in true effort and team spirit and made a captivating horror story about Jozef who was camping with his sisters Čínka (Chinese) and Tyčinka (Stick), eventually visiting a pub whose owner had a Finnish wife whose name remained mystery! Intriguing, right?!! I want a sequel!!!
After the brutal hiking and beautiful views in Retezat, we somehow felt a bit unsure as to what to do in the city, full of luxuries such as flush-able toilets. We crept around in the sun like hobbits in Mordor, took a common pic with a strange monument strikingly resembling a rusty box and had some sort of incredibly good coffee, at least Maťo said so (although he forgot to put in sugar and milk, so I'm not sure it was that good... :-)). Our Slovak rapper Rytmus would say "stokujeme vonku" (hm, "sewaging outside"), I would say "pootŕčali sme sa" (hm, "we put ourselves on display") and all in all it was quite "despacito" ("slowly slowly..."). Highlights of the day included a horror-looking Mickey Mouse in the park, cockroaches at the hostel and the best-rated escape room in town, after which we were so hungry that we arrived at a splendid business plan: "escape room with a takeaway pizza waiting upon the exit from the room!".
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| Interesting monument on one of the Timisoara's squares |
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| It was hot. |
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| Geocaching can often lead to incorrect first impressions |
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| INCREDIBLY SCARY HORROR MICKEY MOUSE!!!!! Brrrrr.... |
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| First horror Mickey, then legless and arm-less Olaf. I wouldn't like to walk in this park during night.. |
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| It was hot. |
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| The ghosts on the screen are actually Mato, Emil and Andrej, finishing their escape room |
Sadly, no pizza waited for us and thus we had to do with some homemade food at a Homemade restaurant served by (what was surely) a homemade waitress.
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| Interestingly, this Homemade restaurant does not serve almost anything "typical Romanian", losing a bit the homely atmosphere... |
Arriving to the hostel, I decided to have a go at busking and started to practice at the hostel's backyard. Soon, Maťo, Emil, Kika and Andrej joined, as did a Polish couple volunteering at the hostel and we rehearsed a few songs that we deemed appropriate for the residents of Timisoara (e.g. "V pi*i na lehátku" by Horkýže Slíže). At the Piata Libertati, we played and san
g for over an hour and well past midnight. And despite not earning a single Lei, it was a very enjoyable experience, with people stopping by or even sitting down to listen on multiple occasions!
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| A perfect square for busking in Timisoara! |
The next morning we did a quick shopping for souvenirs before leaving for Bratislava. Kika was keen to get "cuika", a traditional Romanian alcohol that is usually sold only in people's homes. Asking for advice where to get one, a nice lady heard her and said "wait here", only to come back 15 minutes later with a lovely bottle of the transparent liquid. No money changed hands, only a friendship on Facebook was created, thus fortifying the international links and letting us salivate over the hundreds of pics of splendid looking cakes the lady regularly posts on her wall...
And that was it. Romania once again proved a beautiful, hospitable and friendly country and I want to be back for more. The rich and lavish nature still has that pristine touch, rarely now found in the modern world where the trend continues to commercialise such areas or make them more accessible to masses. Hopefully that trend will stop one day and mountains such as Retezat will continue to be enjoyed only by those that have enough of that unbroken perseverance, adventurous spirit and a deep respect for the mother nature's best displays of art...
...and of the coconut scented toilet roll, of course!
Dough - 8
Ingredients - 7
Sauce - 8
Atmosphere - 5
Service - 7 (authentic!)
